I haven’t touched this blog in a while. Well, that’s a lie I guess, I completely wiped it a little .while ago, not for any reason in particular I just felt like starting with a fresh slate.
As for putting the digital quill to the not-quite paper, I haven’t done that since I had to write my last assignment for university which, If I remember correctly, was the night before my last deadline some time in April/May. Now, I learnt many things in University; how to play ‘Send Me On My Way’ on the guitar, how much love can hurt, how to buy an entire weeks food for just under £5, but properly structuring my time when dealing with things I wasn’t particularly vested in wasn’t one of them and to be honest the fallout of such a failing I’m still dealing with every time I wake up with palpitations and a deep-set fear that I’ve forgotten to do some unknown assignment with an immediate dead-line.
“Just where are you going with this” I’m sure is the question in the minds of the troopers that have read this far and I’d love to be able to answer this with some deep, philosophical answer but the truth is like some sort of literary body-builder I’m in need of flexing the mental muscles that keep the doors to the mind prised open allowing me to keep at least one connection to the pool of creativity that constantly screams at me to plunge into and chase the unobtainable dream and one of the ways to do this, which apparently anybody who can form a coherent sentence feels they can do, is to start and maintain a blog.
Now that idea is simple, so simple in fact you could assign it with an over-simplified and ill-fitting simile like the growing of a crop, and just like the growing of a crop there are certain things that need to be considered. Many things which can be completely and utterly over thought and worried about to the stage where you just say “Forget it”, rip the roots straight out of the ground and start writing about sports.
But I suppose there’s a reason that sports and fashion are so often written about and that’s because they’re accessible, available for anyone to write about and safe. These things always need more opinions and analysis, particularly if it’s something you, the reader, agree with, you can never read enough things that assure you your opinion is right. Now this isn’t a slight at anyone who writes about that sort of thing, in fact I find their conviction about the subjects absolutely admirable and I have considered making both the subject of this page at one time or another. However I feel that not many people would consistently come back to read about how much I hate whatever fad I’ve seen most recently, nor would people come back to read about how I feel that there’s an absolutely abhorrent status-quo in football ‘Journalism’ or just where that one player went wrong in that one attack and how it cost them the entire game. Which actually can smoothly segue me onto the single biggest road-block I encounter every-time I attempt to tickle the plastic of my keyboard and that’s the looming thought of ‘Who exactly is going to read this?’
Anyone who has written anything will have heard the saying ‘Write for yourself’ but for the laymen out there, it’s essentially saying to never worry about who’ll read what you’ve written or what they think. Just write it, publish it and whatever happens happens which is a mantra that I have had a constant problem adopting. Perhaps it’s selfish of me to be so concerned about how a piece of writing is received, after all it’s all to do with the self-satisfaction of being told what a good job you’ve done and the feeling that it’s somehow deserved but this is why it’s been so hard for me to keep a consistent posting schedule up because the ideas I have are often abandoned before I open the page. It’s the same with extended exposure to an idea that seemed good at the time but winds up in the trash because I’d convinced myself that the standard of my writing is so sub-par that even in today’s slap-dash society it’d be scoffed at and because of this I end up with no proof of any supposed ability to write and long nights filled with regret.
As a Journalism student I was always told that if you’re ever writing never write about not knowing what to write about and it can be as big a faux-pas as using the wrong “you’re” when pointing out what an idiot someone is but I feel that it’s a good a starting point as any and I hope it goes some way as to why my page has never been established what I’m writing about here.
I’d love to write about politics but it feels like it’d simply be a drop in a stagnating ocean where no two people will agree completely on even the smallest issue and everyone’s looking for a fight.
I’d be happy to write about sport, as I admitted earlier, but this is played out now and I am nothing if not an avid avoider of trends,
I suppose what I’d really love to write about is my many travelling adventures through the exotic and the mundane places of the world but given my current routine in life I feel that hearing about leaving for work and coming back every day at 10pm would get tedious fast. Plus I simply do not have the money nor the free time to become a globe-trotter, maybe in the not to distant future though.
So here I am slipping through the gaps in an industry that truly waits for no-one being held back by deep-seated insecurities but insecurities I will try my utmost hardest to overcome and at least update my blog more than twice a year. After all, being at the stage in life where you realise you need to makes things happen or at least make a start, inactivity is the single biggest regret I could ever have. But that’s a sobering truth for another post.
Thanks for reading and welcome back.